I feel like I am slowly going insane. There are so many things-- literal things, but also things I've carried in my mind that just do not matter. I am baffled that on days where I don't try, money comes-- on days when I do try, I get nowhere. Life is not predictable-- in a much wider sense than just money.
And as it turns out, humans are built for one thing. Running. Physically-- mentally. I've started running again, dear reader, and in the privacy of the cool night air, it is the most freeing thing. Not just any running either, but barefoot running-- as I did in the days of my youth, before the hip pain set in (which may have been from long sessions in a chair with video games, and not running at all-- but I won't know until I run again for a few months and see if it recurs...) I don't think the pain will recur, because since those times a decade ago, I've honed in on the perfect stretching routine that eliminates that specific pain, along with a few others.
Thanks to my cherished physical therapist and masseuse. She knows who she is.
The fewer possessions I have-- the more the body I'm stuck with matters to me. It becomes more and more precious. I need it to be pleasant to exist in, to entertain me, and probably to use it to overcome challenges-- or at least be ready for those few moments in life where I may need to outrun danger. :P
Was Nietzsche right, that Strength was the point? Maybe. I would rather say he was right that LOVE was the point. Because if you don't love an activity-- there is no point. And if you don't love life, your life-- other people's lives, the life of the community you are in-- there is no point.
My feet dance on the pavement,
I float like a ghost untouched by the troubles of the world.
My lungs burn
I hurl myself beyond the red dust, into the lands where Gods still dwell.
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