Maybe this situation was never stable. It was never built on cooperation and trust: but the ugly mutual survival and dependency that is now showing it's stained and broken teeth. Except for rare visits to my friends, I am in a sort of survival and standby mode. No one is checking on me. No one is checking to see that I'm cared for. My own gestures toward my roommates seem to go unappreciated most of the time. I thought... I don't know what I thought. This would be temporary. Dad would come back. I would make more money than I have. None of that feels true in the moment. Except the money, that's ok. Not enough to live like people expect, but I get to eat.
This is the same pain from a few years ago, built of similar circumstances. I don't know what the next move is. For now I just need to get some sleep...
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